How to invest in the Stock Market For Dumb People

By: Nathan Siri, Financial Advisor

This article is pure fiction and if you use the methods taught by this article and loose it is not our fault. You can't say we did not warn you.

Part One

What to invest in

Stocks are weird. They are very dangerous in terms of financial investment. If you play the market right though you can become incredibly wealthy and right now I will teach you what to invest in. First you need to go to a website that will show you stock prices like Yahoo Finance. Search the website for a stock that costs a low amount and buy that. After you do this wait about a month and if you make a profit then buy some more and so on until you have a small little fortune on your hands. Then go on to the next step where we show you how to make your money grow!

Bitcoin

Bitcoin is a great thing but it is a tricky thing as well because it is so unpredictable. I will teach you what to do though. First you have to buy about $100,000 in bitcoin and wait. After about 5 years you will probably have made money and to borrow the colloquialism "rolling in the dough"

Gamestop

Contrary to popular belief It is my advice that you not invest in GameStop. Why? Because you should invest in better things such as chairs. Why chairs? Because as more and more people are born each day more chairs are needed to seat those people being born. So I advise you invest in furniture companies because they will never close. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully. On to the next part where I teach you about the fun time you will have spending your millions of dollars.

Spending your Fortune

If you have gotten this far successfully then this part is for you I guess. First write a check made out to Nathan Siri for 1.5 Million dollars. Then buy anything that makes you happy. I guess. I have never had millions of dollars in my possession. So Your welcome your a millionaire now.